Son #1

I'm feeling the need to write a series of vignettes today while watching football to give some background so there's some context for anything I write in the future. And now I feel the need to talk about my oldest son, B. God I love him. Everyone does. He's one of those spirits that are so incredibly special. Everyone feels it, yet you can't put a name to it or describe it. He has an aura that oozes kindness and an understanding of life that's far beyond his 20 chronological years.

B is in his junior year of college in CT, about 90 min away from home. He's an art major (I know I know, highly employable, right?) and is living off-campus this year with 2 boys (um, men? seriously. I guess they're men even if they're the same age as my son). He's had the same girlfriend for about 18 months now. She's part of the family. That's just how we roll.

God I love him. I can't say that enough. I miss him terribly. We talk during the week and make it a point to go no longer than 2 weeks between seeing each other.

This is probably an awful thing to admit, but I lean on him. A lot. I probably share more of my worries with him than I should. I think I got into that habit when I realized he sees everything and gets it anyways. He knows all about M's struggles. He's planning a weekend when M and M's friends will go spend a couple of days with him in his apartment. Hopefully early November.

And because I'm a mom and worrying is what we do, I worry that he'll miss out on his share of love and attention while we all work on kicking M's anorexia in the ass. I cannot and will not lose sight of B's needs. I just hope he knows that. I think he does. I'll send him a text in a sec letting him know I'm thinking of him.